I hear that one of the hardest parts of being a stay at home mom is loneliness. Sure, you're with your children all day, but it's really hard to have intelligent conversations with a three year old monster who growls at you. Thus, I am determined to get out of my comfort zone make friends and do things so that I don't have to resort to growling back at my three year old.
I heard about a playgroup in town where moms of children aged 0 to five could get together and hang out for and hour while their children played. For free. While I would usually try to grab a friend to go someplace new with me, I decided to try this one on my own.
I arrived (wearing Baby2 and dragging a reluctant Baby) and plopped down on one of the couches in the room next to a very pregnant woman who was overseeing two of her older children play. On another couch was a lady holding a seven month old and watching her twenty-two month old son run around the room. I tried to get Baby to jump in and play with the bins of toys, but she just wanted to cling to me like glue. Another mom was helping her two year old ride a rocking dolphin (yes, dolphin. Never seen one of those before).
I sat for a few minutes to see if anyone would be friendly, but no one said anything to me, so I introduced myself to the pregnant mom next to me and attempted small talk. Come to find out it was her first time at the playgroup too. We chatted about our kids and I felt like I was interrogating her to get more conversation going. I really need to work on my friend making skills. During one of the many lulls in our conversation, I introduced myself to the girl on the couch. After discussing the ages of our children and how cute they were, and how this was her first time there, we were done. The other mom who had been by the dolphin ended up leaving and a few other ladies came in.
These were the "regulars" because they talked freely with one another about inside things of which I had no clue. And they stayed in their own little circle, not bothering to talk with any of the rest of us. Then the play time was over and we went home.
In retrospect, I was very proud of myself for taking the initiative and attempting to talk to people I didn't know. I don't know if I came across as nosy, but I'm not the best at conversation, so I know that's something I have to work on.
I was disappointed in the so called "regulars." The playgroup was advertised as friendly and a place to make friends while the children played. While it was nice of them to share their snacks, I didn't feel welcomed by them at all. Just ignored.
Will I go again? I think so, and this time I'm going to try to be better at conversation and maybe jump in when the "regulars" get to talking.
Or maybe I'll just start my own playgroup where the rule is that everyone must introduce themselves to everyone else before your children are allowed to touch the toys.