Saturday, August 6, 2011


Baby is an evil genius.  Really.  Every time I plan to do something, she knows.  Let me give you some examples. 

Example one:  I put Baby down for her nap (this is a feat of accomplishment in itself.  She never likes to sleep.) with plans to clean the bathroom.  I put the cleaner in the toilets, spray down the shower, when all of a sudden I hear screams.  Baby is up in her crib, screaming her little lungs out.  Not sleeping as she was when I left her there originally.  So much for a clean bathroom. 

Example two:  Baby gets put down for bed around eight (although eight o'clock seems to be coming later and later every night).  I try to go to bed around ten.  I get myself all ready, snuggle into the covers, start to drift into peaceful sleep, when all of a sudden I hear screams.  She decided to get a really dirty diaper and I need to change her.

Example three:  I'm taking an online class, which requires homework.  I'm a procrastinator by nature, so I save everything up until the last minute. I figure I will type up papers after Baby goes to sleep.  Baby goes to bed, I start typing at the computer,  and I'm sure you can figure out what happens next.  Baby wakes up screaming and refuses to go back to sleep. By the time she finally does, I'm exhausted and too tired to type any coherent papers.

Example four:  The other night around nine pm my sister was looking for someone to go to the movies with her.  Husband said he would be fine with Baby at home (she was sleeping, it was late), so I told my sister I would love to go with her.  Apparently half an hour after I left Baby subconsciously could feel that my presence was elsewhere and woke up screaming.  Husband could not get her to go back to sleep, so I come home after midnight to a Baby who was up playing with an exhausted Husband.  He had planned to go to bed early that night because he had a big day the next day.  Next time Mommy will probably not be able to go out late at night.

I could go on, but do you see why I can't do anything?  Baby KNOWS.   

Friday, August 5, 2011

Kids at the Movies

Husband and I were very fortunate to have the opportunity to go on a date the other night for our eight year anniversary.  I know, right?  We''re getting old.  Eight years is a long time!

We went on our first evening date alone since Baby was born.  I know, that's practically eighteen months!  It's a long time.  We could have hired a sitter and gone out previously, but those people are expensive.  The going rate that we've found is ten dollars an hour.  Hello, that's more than minimum wage!  We already pay for daycare (yes, even through summer to hold our spot), so we can't really justify spending more on a sitter at night.  However, this was a special occasion, so we splurged.

We were going to do dinner and a move, but then we were running late (surprise!), so it ended up being a movie and then dinner.  We went to a rated R movie that had lots of cursing and adult themes.  Quite funny, but definitely an adult movie.

Well, we got into the theater and heard a baby way in the back of the theater.  Okay, a baby.  I know some people take their little ones when they want to go out.  I never did that because Baby has never sat still in her entire life and I don't want to put anyone through that.  People don't want to hear a baby cry during a movie and I don't want to be the person who forces that on other paying movie goers.  Luckily, the baby only cried right before the movie, then we didn't hear another peep.  That was nice.  I would have gone and complained.  I mean, I was on my first date in eighteen months without a child.  No way do I want to hear one during my child free night.

At the end of the movie, the people in the back started to walk out of the theater.  There was the couple with the newborn and....their seven year old daughter (I'm guessing her age here, but she was looked around seven or eight).

Okay, I understand bringing the newborn.  You want to get out, the baby doesn't understand the movie and will most likely fall asleep.  Whatever.  But your child who understands what is going on?  Who is able to repeat things out of the movie?  Who looks up to her parents and wants to copy what they do?  Who understands when people are naked?  Who is learning how to treat others and behave in society?

No way.  It just made me so mad to see that little girl at that movie.  What do her parents tell her?  Do they tell her anything?  Is she just left to process what she saw and heard as acceptable and normal in her life? 

Does anyone else see anything wrong with this picture? 

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Playdate Mix Up

I love playdates with Baby.  I've been on a ton of them this summer.  I seem to be at the age where a lot of my friends have children around the same age as her.  We go to the park, we go over each other's houses, we go to splash parks (have you heard of these?  So cool!  It's a bunch of play equipment with water shooting out of it, or misting out of it.  I've been to two different ones and they are great on hot days.  I want one in my neighborhood!), etc. 

About a week ago I received a text from a friend asking if I wanted to have a playdate with her and her daughter.  We will call this friend Jayne.  I responded yes, we worked out the time and place (my house at ten), and we were set. 

Today I texted my friend Jane to confirm that her and her daughter were coming over for our scheduled play date.  She thought she had forgotten, but confirmed that they would be here.  Jane and I also thought it would be fun to invite our other friend (who we will call Carol) and her son as well. 

Tonight I received a text message from Jayne asking if we were still on for tomorrow.

Wait a second.


Not Jane? 

Uh oh. 

I just double booked myself for a playdate with both Jane and Jayne and their daughters!  I know you must be thinking, "Well have them all over, duh!" 

Well I wasn't thinking.  In my head it was two separate events.  Then the question was, what do I do?  If I cancel on Jane, then I have to cancel on Carol as well.  If I cancel on Jayne, I'll be canceling my first commitment. 

Oh, the drama. 

I called Jayne and apologized profusely for being such an airhead.  We agreed that we could probably meet later in the week instead. 

Then I did some thinking.  Why not have everyone over?  (I know, it took me awhile to get to this place.  I'm slow.) 

I contacted Jayne again and told her about the mixup and invited her to come with Jane and Carol and their kids tomorrow.  After all that drama, she declined and said we can just try for later this week.

I totally owe her lunch or something.  

Wednesday, August 3, 2011


The other day I had the pantry door open while I was doing who knows what in the kitchen.  Baby saw an opportunity and went to investigate what was inside.  She pulled out our Swiffer and started to sweep the kitchen floor.  She held it properly, too.  Then she realized something was missing, so she went back into the pantry and pulled out the pack of Swiffer thingies that you put on the bottom of it (I don't remember what they are called).

She spent a while trying to figure out how to open it (I wasn't going to show her, I wanted to see what she would do.  Plus, they have chemicals on them and didn't really want her to get that close to the chemicals).  She couldn't figure out how to open it, so she settled for placing it on the floor, hitting it with the bottom of the Swiffer, then walking the Swiffer around the kitchen.

I was so proud.  If my child is exhibiting that kind of behavior, it means she watched and learned it from somewhere, right?  I like to think that she learned it from watching her mommy.  I clean my floors.  Sometimes.   

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

The Great Maid Debate

Recently I found a coupon for a maid service, so I stuck it on the fridge.  Husband saw it and was instantly aware.

"Why do you need  a maid service?"  he asked. 

"Because our house is a mess."  I responded.  "We both work full time, take care of Baby, and the house is being neglected.  We can keep up with laundry and dishes, but that's about it.  We have layers of dust and dirt.  We need deep cleaning, and I don't have time for that.  Have you seen our bathrooms?  They're disgusting." 

Would you like to know what my thoughtful Husband did?  He put bleach in the toilet bowls.  Then he came back to tell me he cleaned the bathroom.  I (nicely) mentioned that the bathroom also has a sink.  Husband then proceeded to wipe down the sink bowl and pronounced the bathroom clean.  

He tried.  He really did.

In the meantime, I'm holding on to that coupon. 

Monday, August 1, 2011

Opposite Day

(I began this post way back in June and decided I better finish and publish it.  Finally).  

Baby was not herself on this particular day.  I usually go for a walk with her in the mornings, which she loves.  It must be the luxury of having someone push you around while feeding you snacks and drinks.  There is also the possibility of a quick nap if she feels tired.  Lately Baby sees the stroller parked in the kitchen and tries to climb into it while looking at Mommy and begging to go for a walk.  She points to it and goes,"Uh?  Uh?"  Translated, this means, "Mommy I would very much like for you to push me outside in the stroller.  Now."

Well, on this day I asked Baby if she wanted to go for a walk and she shook her head no and said, "Uh, uh."  "Really?"  I asked.  "Uh, uh,"  she said, shaking her head and running away.  I grabbed her and placed her in the stroller where she proceeded to scream, refused to sit, and struggled against me.  Okay, no walk today.

Then at swim lessons, when she normally reaches with all her little might to get out of the pool, she decided she wanted to stay and swim.   She splashed in the water, got into her Superman pose, and had a grand time.  She didn't want me to take her out of the water.  It was a great swim lesson day. 

However, after swim lessons, she went back to her normal self. 

Sick Baby, Continued

Usually when I take a shower Baby plays on the floor of the bathroom, or lately I've been leaving the door open and letting her play in our bedroom.  I can periodically open the shower door to check on her, and I know that our room is pretty well babyproofed. 

The next morning, after Baby seemed to be back to her normal self, I let Baby play in the bedroom while I took a shower.  I came out of the shower to see Baby holding her foot out to me and pointing at it.  Upon closer inspection, it appeared that she had pooped on her foot.  She had diarrhea again and had made nice little footprints all over our bedroom carpet.