June 8, 2009
I have never really been a baby kind of person. I love other people's babies, I just never really wanted my own. I mean, they totally change your way of life. No more going out whenever you want, instead you must arrange for childcare or drag with kid along with you. No more coming home from work to relax and take a nap, instead you have this needy creature sucking out your la st bit of energy. And forget sleeping at night. Your life, as you know it, is ruined. And I do apologize if I have offended anyone with the above statements. That is truly how I felt.
Well, I was laid off from my teaching job in March. After that devastating news (teaching was my life!) and with a new perspective on life and what it means to live, my husband and I decided we would stop "not trying" for a baby. This is a very technical issue, let me tell you. There is a difference between trying and not "not trying." We thought we might put it in God's hands and let him figure out the timing, but we were not going to take any extra steps and fall into that crazy we-are-trying-for-a-baby category. But, there was still a chance we might end up with one.
This was a huge step for me. My husband has been open to this idea for quite a while now, but it's taken me some time to warm up to it. After seeing some of my friends have babies and actually still have a life, it helped me to put things in to perspective. I mean, women have babies every day. Why not me?
June 8, 2009 I decided to take a pregnancy test. I felt a little different, and thought, maybe? At this point in time I was getting excited. I could be pregnant! Well, it was negative. Maybe I was just going crazy.